Why is being a feminist a bad thing?
News flash: It's not.
I had Sociology class tonight - and found myself leaving pissed off. Which is odd, because normally this is a lecture/special news reports watching class. Tonight, for this first time all semester, we actually had a discussion. Which could have been great....Until, however, in a class of 40...I was targeted. Guess why? Well, it could have been the huge bullseye I had on the back of my shirt - but it was most likely because I was the ONLY ONE who raised my hand when the female professor asked this question:
"Who here is a feminist?"
As the class was 3/4 FEMALE, I expected to be one of many with their hands waving proudly in the air. Nope. Shocker. Just me. I was appalled.
The next question, of course, was just for me.
"Why are you a feminist in the twenty-first century?"
Um, because there is still a need for people to stand up for women's rights? Because women are still looked at as being inferior to men. Because my paycheck isn't as high as the man's who does less than I do? Because it's a legal debate about what I choose to do with my body? Because I'm a woman who sees and hears the demeaning way women are referred to? Because the world, as a whole, is sexist? Because it doesn't matter if it's the 21st century - women are treated like a different, subpar race in the workforce, in the churches, in the home, in the classroom...every day. Need I continue??
Whew boy. That started some finger pointing and rolled eyes. She asked...I answered. While I don't expect people to agree with me...I couldn't believe that 17..yes 17 women in my class raised their hands when the prof. asked...
"Who believes that a women's place is in the home?"
THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?
"Oh, well, I need this class for my nursing degree."
Why are you getting a degree in nursing...shouldn't you be getting a degree in pot roast? (Actually didn't say that last part...but I wanted to soooo bad.
Why the answers were all different...they damn near all started with, "Well, my husband..."
Are you kidding me? Are YOU KIDDING ME?? It's not like I think women shouldn't stay home...I think that they should have a choice. If they decide they want to stay home - that's awesome. But don't judge those who didn't make the same choice you did. And that's what they did...for 20+ minutes...I was attacked because I believe that women deserve more than they are currently getting. Not more money, not more jobs, but MORE RESPECT. That's it. That's what it all boils down to. Respect.
Ok, I have to stop now. I'm getting off my soap box. Just needed to vent.
Comments
Respect is the key, and getting equal treatment, even though I don't consider men and women to be equal, per se. We're different, we're made to be different, but that doesn't make one better than the other. I'd love to be a stay-at-home mom, but that doesn't mean I think every other woman should have that as a goal. Something that started out so great really got turned around along the way.
Anyway, I couldn't agree with you more. It's sad to me that we have to have a philosophy to hold on to in order to expand on the idea that women are equal to men. But like all things socially influenced, we have to protect or else its taken away.
Wow. Great post. You speak wisely. Just as I wouldn't deride a woman's decision to stay home if that's what she chose to do, I wouldn't expect to be looked down upon because I'm single and I deserve fair wages for my work.
Thanks to DeWitte for sending me this way as well.
Good luck with your class!
I agree - equal treatment. I think that if women were as respected as well as men are - maybe then equal treatment wouldn't even be an issue...you know what I mean?
It is sad that something like standing up for your rights turned so ugly.
My Man! Lol.
In answer to your question - the women were an average age of 30-50. One girl who was 18, homeschooled and raised to believe that a women's place is in the home, which is okay with me...but she had no openness about it being a choice for the woman, and that part I was not okay with.
Thanks for the free publicity, by the way. =P
i'm glad my fiancé understands that i wear the pants in the family. (and that he wants to be a stay at home dad, if at all possible. which at this rate, won't be. but that's an economy story for another day.)
I'm a little baffalled by your comment. I've thought about it and the only way I can respond is by posting the definitions of feminist and feminism, which I think are important...
feminist
adjective 1. of or relating to or advocating equal rights for women; "feminist critique"
noun 1. a supporter of feminism
fem·i·nism Audio Help /ˈfɛməˌnɪzəm/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[fem-uh-niz-uhm] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
I am going to have to politely disagree with you, as I think that respect, rights, and equality are indeed feminist issues. But that's just me.
I believe everyone has a right to be treated with respect and as an equal, and that teaching people to respect women is something that not only benefits women, it benefits society as a whole. Thus (to me) it's a bigger issue than just a feminist issue. It's not just our position and treatment in relation to men, but each other.
I don't think it's just men who need to learn these things about respect and equality. I think women need to treat their own sex with respect too. For example, the whole "stay-at-home-mom" versus "working-mom" issue that I've lived on both sides of, doesn't get a lot of respect, or support from either side. We constantly disrespect each other because of our own choices.
My second point was that sometimes, when people label something as a feminist issue, others (the people who probably need to hear it the most) blow it off and ignore it. Sort of like liberals calling things conservative and vice versa.
I'm sorry my point is muddily explained. I was assuming you knew where I was coming from in general, and didn't fully get into it.
Got it now. I guess that saying about assuming is true...I've never fogotten how my Algebra teacher explained it to me...still makes me crack up.
Anyway - yes - I agree with you. I think you are saying that calling it for what it is (being a feminist) causes even less respect. RIght? Or am I wrong again???
Was directed over here by DeWitte...
"A woman's place is in the home" is a phrase that's still being used?! What is this, 1950? I cannot believe that you were the only person to raise your hand.
I think that the word "feminist" has a lot of ugly, unwarranted connotations and maybe that's why people don't like to label themselves with it. I think that being a feminist doesn't mean you conform exactly to certain set of beliefs. It's that you care about women as people and that you agree that they should have the same opportunities afforded to them because they are not any less than men.
Grrr. People anger me.
This is a great post.
I would love to have someone explain to me where the big honking bad-PR problem came from that now seems to surround the word "feminist." Are we dealing with clueless teenagers who think they're asserting their independence by rejecting a political movement they associate with the older generation (and assume, stupidly, must therefore be obsolete)? Do these young women who think "feminist" is a dirty word simply because they have no sense of history and no sense of what is going on in the world outside the U.S. (or their tiny little personal universes) ...
Uyyyyy. Good luck, kids.